October 2011
1 post
1 tag
TIP #48
 You know why Beatriz Enríquez de Arana never married Christopher Columbus? Because he refused to stop and ask for directions.
Oct 10th
8 notes
September 2011
1 post
1 tag
TIP #47
While doing the dishes together, playfully throwing sudsy water at your girl doesn’t turn out as cute/romantic/playful as it does in the movies. I learned that one the hard way last night.
Sep 1st
August 2011
1 post
1 tag
TIP #46
You don’t have to do topiary or anything fancy, but you do have to trim the hedges, mow the lawn, pull the stray dandelions and you should clear any underbrush. And I’m not talking about landscaping.
Aug 10th
15 notes
July 2011
7 posts
3 tags
TIP #45
THINGS YOU CAN NEVER PUT ON YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE: “I know women.” - If this phrase was true then you’d be dating one. A winky face emoticon - Nothing says you don’t get laid on a regular basis more than a winky face. Nothing will ensure your continued involuntary celibacy more than a winky face. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.” - No...
Jul 27th
3 tags
TIP #44
PICTURES THAT ARE NEVER ALLOWED ON YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE: You next to a car You in a car Your car You with an ex-girlfriend blatantly cut from the photo You with an ex-girlfriend still in the picture, literally and figuratively You naked. Headshots…no, not that head—the other one. Your bedroom, especially if you call it your “boudoir,” or say, “this is...
Jul 26th
33 notes
1 tag
TIP #43
If you think Just the Tip is fun, then you’ll want to check out these other games as well: Just the Clap Just the Child Support
Jul 25th
31 notes
2 tags
TIP #42
Living life without the right woman is like eating Lucky Charms without the marshmallows: you’ll be fed, but it’s far less magically delicious.  
Jul 25th
17 notes
TIP #41
I like my mashed potatoes like I like my women: a little bit chunky.
Jul 24th
33 notes
1 tag
TIP #40
If it looks like you’re wearing a sweater when you’re actually shirtless, woman up and get that shit waxed.
Jul 18th
TIP #39
If you want it to be all about you then perhaps you should live alone.
Jul 1st
3 notes
June 2011
18 posts
TIP #38
What goes up, must go down:
Jun 27th
5 tags
TIP #37
You can never, ever, ever, ever, ev-er say any of the following similar statements to any woman. I don’t even care if you’re married to her: “When are you due?” “Congratulations! When are you due?” “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” “Are you waiting to find out the sex of the baby?” “Are you registered at...
Jun 23rd
16 notes
1 tag
TIP #36
Spitting isn’t cool. It’s just the more active form of drooling.  
Jun 20th
11 notes
1 tag
TIP #35
The only thing sexier than a good husband is a great father.
Jun 19th
1 tag
Jun 16th
pleaseexcusethemess asked: Tip #33 is truly versatile. while the advice you laid down is solid, it also works that a man can judge a woman's worth by how she reacts to said carb/cheese delivery. if she turns her nose up at it she isn't worth the effort. if she digs in she's a keeper - 'cause she's real.
Jun 15th
7 notes
4 tags
TIP #33
Women (especially the right women) flock to food like moths to a flame. I learned this last night at a party. The most popular men were the dudes holding the food. So, instead of sending over a drink to the cute girl at the bar, try sending over some cheese fries, tater tots, mozzarella sticks…pretty much any carb will do. Bonus points if you send a carb mixed with cheese. No, seriously....
Jun 15th
1 tag
TIP #32
Please and thank you are equally as important phrases as I love you and I’m sorry.
Jun 13th
15 notes
3 tags
TIP #31
Female powers of deduction: The more expensive the car, the smaller the penis.  
Jun 13th
1 tag
TIP #30
We are more than the summation of our body parts. Calling someone a pussy makes no sense. Even having a vag doesn’t actually make you one because if it did, that would mean that you’re nothing but a dick.
Jun 10th
6 notes
3 tags
TIP #29
It’s not bad if she has expensive taste. But it is bad if she has expensive taste and an empty wallet.  
Jun 9th
7 notes
3 tags
TIP #28
Too much time spent with your toys will inevitably lead to her playing with her toys. Trust me when I tell you: her toys are better. Last I checked, the Xbox couldn’t get you off.  
Jun 8th
4 tags
TIP #27
If you like to put things in holes so much, then why don’t you start with the hamper? Once you master that, you can move on to aiming into other holes…like the toilet.  
Jun 7th
48 notes
2 tags
TIP #26
I don’t know why it’s called a breakup when really it should be called a breakdown.
Jun 7th
11 notes
5 tags
BONUS TIPS: Nice vs. Ew
NICE Telling a girl you’re dating that you’re thinking of them. EW Telling a girl you’ve never been on a date with that you’re thinking of them. NICE Calling a girl you’re interested in just to say “hi.” EW Calling a girl you’re interested in and breathing heavily into to the phone before hanging up. NICE Leaving your girlfriend a little love...
Jun 3rd
3 tags
TIP #25
Size does matter. A bigger heart is always better.  
Jun 3rd
4 tags
TIP #24
Unless specifically requested, it is never OK to email or MMS gratuitous pictures of your penis. Unless, of course, you’re willing to risk that it won’t be posted everywhere with the caption, “Magnified 500x.”
Jun 2nd
3 tags
TIP #23
If you spend your life chasing tail, then like a dog, you will only end up going in circles.
Jun 1st
May 2011
24 posts
3 tags
TIP #22
How you dance is directly proportionate to how you move in bed. Rhythm is everything.  
May 31st
40 notes
3 tags
TIP #21
If you take each other for granted, before long there will be nothing left to take.
May 31st
4 tags
TIP #20
If you think condoms dull the sensation, imagine the feeling of pissing razor blades. That’s the sensation of gonorrhea.
May 30th
3 tags
TIP #19
Gay is not an adjective. It’s a synonym for awesome.
May 30th
3 tags
TIP #18
You will most definitely be judged on how you treat animals, senior citizens, babies and waitstaff.
May 30th
3 tags
TIP #17
If the front door is open, you can’t just assume the back door is as well.  
May 29th
13 notes
3 tags
TIP #16
The difference between boys and men is that boys think with their head while men think with their brain.
May 28th
pleaseexcusethemess asked: This will be chandler's nightly reading. I love him in spite of needing this blog to guide his every step.
Go on with your bad ninja self.
May 28th
Ask a Lesbian →
ladieswomengrrrls: “A Lesbian’s Advice for a Straight Man” is that rare bird of a blog—one that’s witty AND practical—not to mention long overdue. And I’m not just sayin’ that because the femininja who writes it is my friend. A million roundhouse kick thank yous.
May 28th
24 notes
3 tags
TIP #15
She doesn’t need you to solve her problems. She just needs you to not be her problem.
May 27th
3 tags
TIP #14
Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just been waiting for you to open the door.
May 27th
3 tags
TIP #13
The clitoris is neither a button, nor a scratch-off lottery ticket.
May 27th
38 notes
3 tags
TIP #12
Kissing is not a means to an end. It is the beginning of everything.
May 26th
3 tags
TIP #11
POP QUIZ: Which two do not belong? a) Santa Claus b) Easter Bunny c) Clitoris d) Tooth Fairy e) G-Spot ANSWER: If you answered anything but C or E, then…she’s been faking.
May 26th
5 notes
3 tags
TIP #10
Toilet paper is you and your underwear’s best friend.
May 26th
3 tags
TIP #9
Grand gestures don’t always have to involve big dollar signs. Sometimes just a boombox and some Peter Gabriel will do.
May 26th
11 notes
3 tags
TIP #8
 A jackhammer is a tool. Don’t be a tool.
May 26th
1 note
3 tags
TIP #7
 These are the only things you can point and shoot: Cameras If need be, guns.
May 26th
2 notes
3 tags
TIP #6
Have sex, make love or fuck. Just don’t screw her.
May 26th
3 tags
TIP #5
It’s not about being The Man. It’s about being The One.
May 26th
3 tags
TIP #4
If you finish first, you actually lose.
May 25th
3 tags
TIP #3
Just stop and ask for directions. I don’t just mean in the car, either.
May 25th